Living in the Now When its Not All Good

Those of us with Aphantasia seem to more easily live in the “now”. We don’t recall the past vividly, nor can we easily imagine the future. It sounds like this is often a blessing when compared with visualizers. And while its just normal for me, I have no reason to doubt this is often good.

It definitely takes a lot to “knock” me from one state to another. That makes me very “steady”, and that is a good thing when all is well. But when I do get in a “bad” state, its also hard to get out of it. It’s hard to recall the past good times, and its hard to imagine a future good time.

I woke up this morning with a bad allergy / sinus headache. But its hard to recall the great time I had last night. And the rest of the really good week. And the really nice job I have now. It’s just a headache, but I live in the “now” – and that seems like all I have if I’m not careful!

So I am glad I have been learning this about myself. And that my wife also understands this about me! I will be better afterall – and this is not much to complain about anyhow. And I do “know” this very much. My wife is hurting more with her back actually. So I need to learn more than the “now”!

Does Prayer Make Sense for Atheists?

I’ve always enjoyed abstract math and higher dimensional / non-Euclidean geometries. Add in the weirdness of quantum mechanics and dark energy and its even more interesting. Top it off possibly with things like discreetness and strings and it gets absolutely mind-boggling. I still love to read and think about all these things, although my mathematics have gotten too rusty over the years to keep up in depth – so I can’t claim expertise.

Now on one hand I am not a fan of the popular “new age” ideas that try to equate some of these concepts with “god” and spirituality. But I will also admit that there are some possibilities nonetheless, and those are genuinely intriguing. Take for instance the notion of cause and effect – and how this is actually proven to not be so clear-cut on the quantum level. There is even some wiggle room in the bigger relativistic realm of space-time.

One place I heard this come up recently was in Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat, Pray, Love”. At the beginning of the book she was praying for help, and she believed an answer came that told her to “go back to bed”. At the end of the book she brought up the possibility that maybe it was her future self that responded to the prayer of her younger self. I cannot claim to know if current scientific understanding allows for this, but I very much like it.

Prayer came up at last week’s seminar with Atheist pastor Gretta Vosper, and again yesterday at the monthly “Spiritual” group I attend. In both cases it was the question of who do you pray to when you no longer believe in “god”, or at least not in the “man upstairs” type “god”. Psychology may suggest that “prayer” to yourself may still be meaningful – maybe even powerful in some cases. How much more if your future self is potentially involved!

Nice and Helpful Should be Normal

I’ve been at my new job a week now! It continues to be all peaceful with no stress. And all of my co-workers, including my manager and the owner, are all actually nice and helpful. I keep having to remind myself that this should be normal. People should be nice and helpful to each other. Work does not have to be stressful when people are qualified and do their job.

Peace and No Stress with New Job

I’ve been working at my new job for 3 days now. My coworkers are all really nice and we’ve had multiple conversations already. Even sat down and ate lunch inside in the breakroom we each brought. And I’m learning their system with the help you would expect to get. My first project is even well-thought out to get me acquainted better.

The weird thing is that it’s so “odd” to not have daily job stress! I apparently grew too accustomed to job dysfunction my past year. So while I’m loving my new job, it’s also a  difference that I am still getting used to. I come home and can only say it was a good day! And that is still just pleasantly unexpected! But I can get used to peace and no stress.